Democrat Libertarianism: Five Modest Proposals

Democrat Libertarianism: Five Modest Proposals

By George Liebmann

The recent statement of the Biden administration in support of trans-gender rights and operations is one of the more astonishing documents of our time, It must have been vetted by Attorney General Garland and HHS Secretary Becerra, whose names deserve to be indelibly associated with it. Fifty years ago, few respectable persons would have been associated with abortion on demand or gay marriage, two other causes for which the President has ordered a “full government press.” An hypochondriac administration on the COVID epidemic is not interested in “following the science’ in regard to either the explosion of births to unwed mothers and reduction in ‘shotgun marriages’ produced by abortion on demand as documented by its own Secretary of the Treasury, Janet Yellen; the venereal disease rate among practitioners of what was once called “the abominable and detestable crime against nature” (among the unprotected, fifteen times that transmitted by heterosexual intercourse) and the costs it imposes; or in the suicide rate –fifteen times the normal—among those who choose sex-change operations—a physical cure for psychological ailments. Even kindergartners, let alone adolescents are now to have government-propagated doubts about their sexual identity.

In the spirit of Jonathan Swift, and of dissolving all remaining superstitious moral restraints in this New Age of unlimited permissiveness, we here tender five new projects, of invincible appeal to today’s American Democratic Party:

Suttee

America has a new ethnic minority, heretofore disregarded by the Democrats. There are now more than a million Indian-Americans, most of the nominally Hindu and disconcertingly entrepreneurial and Republican. What better way to secure their devotion than by embracing their most extreme, abandoned, and archaic tradition, the immolation of widows on their husbands’ funeral pyres. This also will serve Democratic social objectives: reducing land wastage in cemeteries, maintaining the solvency of the social security, medicare, and public and private pension systems, and ensuring that the Indian-American young are looked after by unionized day care centers rather than by babushkas.

Dueling

This practice is forbidden by the laws, and even the constitutions, of all American states, but is the key to revival of the Roosevelt coalition including the Solid South. It will divorce the Democrats from the gun controllers and appeal to the heirs of the Southern Cavaliers and Confederates. It has other points of congruence with the Democrat agenda. It is the ultimate campaign finance reform, drastically reducing electioneering costs. It appeals to exponents of term limits. It also affords new men, like Alexander Hamilton’s forgotten successor, Oliver Wolcott, the opportunity to rise in society.

Sadism.

This cause already has its organized advocates, who have successfully lobbied the American Law Institute to provide a ‘rough sex’ defense to sexual assault charges. It has the merit of appearing consensual, since victims of fatalities are not around to testify. Although in the 1991 case of R. v.Jones a 3-2 majority of the British House of Lords rejected the practice as ‘uncivilized’, a judgment also shared by the European Court of Human Rights, and historians of Wilhelmine Germany and the Weimar Republic and although Parliament has recently legislated against it, a University of Virginia law professor recently told the ALI that the practice was legitimated by the existence of numerous ‘sex shops’ selling cats o’ nine tails and other equipment. It is unclear whether he and his consort, a former President of the University of Virginia, have the habit of tying each other to bedposts.

Pedophilia

Here too there is also an active lobby, the North American Man-Boy Association. Two Democrat causes, sexual license and nondiscrimination, intersect here. The Joys of Sex must not be denied on the basis of arbitrary age discrimination. A party whose House Speaker favors lowering the voting age to 16 is well on the way to this further reform

Each of these four causes dovetails well with the strategy of ’slicing and dicing’ the electorate on identity lines to put together a patchwork majority. The problem of democracy, Alfred North Whitehead once observed, is the problem of its minorities. since intensely committed single-interest groups can and do wield disproportionate influence. This brings us to the last possible Democratic cause:

Cannibalism

This possibility is not far-fetched. There have been one or two recent cases of it at Maryland’s leading HBCU, Morgan State University. Barely a century ago, the late H. L. Mencken observed that if there were a sufficient number of organized cannibals, politicians would vie with one another to promise the electorate regular meals of Grilled Missionary. The ‘Death of God’ and the declaration by several members of the U. S. Supreme Court that religion is not a legitimate source of legal principles lend force to this cause. Its secular advantages, apart from population control, are manifest. It enhances the food supply. It serves the eugenic purposes of birth controllers and social Darwinists alike. It enlarges the sum of human knowledge: several hundred pages will have to be added to the Nouvelle Larousse Gastronomique.

Onward, Biden! Forward, Garland! Upward, Becerra!

The New Democrats, unlike the British Socialists of 1945, have not found their A.P. Herbert to memorably commemorate them in verse:

“By reason, not ruction, we reach to the skies

The means of production we nationalize

While rapture enthralling we bring within range

By rationalizing the means of exchange.”

The writer, President of the Library Company of the Baltimore Bar, is the author of numerous works on law and public policy, including Vox Clamantis In Deserto: An Iconoclast Looks At Four Failed Administrations (2021)

Democrat Libertarianism: Five Modest Proposals

By George Liebmann

The recent statement of the Biden administration in support of trans-gender rights and operations is one of the more astonishing documents of our time, It must have been vetted by Attorney General Garland and HHS Secretary Becerra, whose names deserve to be indelibly associated with it. Fifty years ago, few respectable persons would have been associated with abortion on demand or gay marriage, two other causes for which the President has ordered a “full government press.” An hypochondriac administration on the COVID epidemic is not interested in “following the science’ in regard to either the explosion of births to unwed mothers and reduction in ‘shotgun marriages’ produced by abortion on demand as documented by its own Secretary of the Treasury, Janet Yellen; the venereal disease rate among practitioners of what was once called “the abominable and detestable crime against nature” (among the unprotected, fifteen times that transmitted by heterosexual intercourse) and the costs it imposes; or in the suicide rate –fifteen times the normal—among those who choose sex-change operations—a physical cure for psychological ailments. Even kindergartners, let alone adolescents are now to have government-propagated doubts about their sexual identity.

In the spirit of Jonathan Swift, and of dissolving all remaining superstitious moral restraints in this New Age of unlimited permissiveness, we here tender five new projects, of invincible appeal to today’s American Democratic Party:

Suttee

America has a new ethnic minority, heretofore disregarded by the Democrats. There are now more than a million Indian-Americans, most of the nominally Hindu and disconcertingly entrepreneurial and Republican. What better way to secure their devotion than by embracing their most extreme, abandoned, and archaic tradition, the immolation of widows on their husbands’ funeral pyres. This also will serve Democratic social objectives: reducing land wastage in cemeteries, maintaining the solvency of the social security, medicare, and public and private pension systems, and ensuring that the Indian-American young are looked after by unionized day care centers rather than by babushkas.

Dueling

This practice is forbidden by the laws, and even the constitutions, of all American states, but is the key to revival of the Roosevelt coalition including the Solid South. It will divorce the Democrats from the gun controllers and appeal to the heirs of the Southern Cavaliers and Confederates. It has other points of congruence with the Democrat agenda. It is the ultimate campaign finance reform, drastically reducing electioneering costs. It appeals to exponents of term limits. It also affords new men, like Alexander Hamilton’s forgotten successor, Oliver Wolcott, the opportunity to rise in society.

Sadism.

This cause already has its organized advocates, who have successfully lobbied the American Law Institute to provide a ‘rough sex’ defense to sexual assault charges. It has the merit of appearing consensual, since victims of fatalities are not around to testify. Although in the 1991 case of R. v.Jones a 3-2 majority of the British House of Lords rejected the practice as ‘uncivilized’, a judgment also shared by the European Court of Human Rights, and historians of Wilhelmine Germany and the Weimar Republic and although Parliament has recently legislated against it, a University of Virginia law professor recently told the ALI that the practice was legitimated by the existence of numerous ‘sex shops’ selling cats o’ nine tails and other equipment. It is unclear whether he and his consort, a former President of the University of Virginia, have the habit of tying each other to bedposts.

Pedophilia

Here too there is also an active lobby, the North American Man-Boy Association. Two Democrat causes, sexual license and nondiscrimination, intersect here. The Joys of Sex must not be denied on the basis of arbitrary age discrimination. A party whose House Speaker favors lowering the voting age to 16 is well on the way to this further reform

Each of these four causes dovetails well with the strategy of ’slicing and dicing’ the electorate on identity lines to put together a patchwork majority. The problem of democracy, Alfred North Whitehead once observed, is the problem of its minorities. since intensely committed single-interest groups can and do wield disproportionate influence. This brings us to the last possible Democratic cause:

Cannibalism

This possibility is not far-fetched. There have been one or two recent cases of it at Maryland’s leading HBCU, Morgan State University. Barely a century ago, the late H. L. Mencken observed that if there were a sufficient number of organized cannibals, politicians would vie with one another to promise the electorate regular meals of Grilled Missionary. The ‘Death of God’ and the declaration by several members of the U. S. Supreme Court that religion is not a legitimate source of legal principles lend force to this cause. Its secular advantages, apart from population control, are manifest. It enhances the food supply. It serves the eugenic purposes of birth controllers and social Darwinists alike. It enlarges the sum of human knowledge: several hundred pages will have to be added to the Nouvelle Larousse Gastronomique.

Onward, Biden! Forward, Garland! Upward, Becerra!

The New Democrats, unlike the British Socialists of 1945, have not found their A.P. Herbert to memorably commemorate them in verse:

“By reason, not ruction, we reach to the skies

The means of production we nationalize

While rapture enthralling we bring within range

By rationalizing the means of exchange.”

The writer, President of the Library Company of the Baltimore Bar, is the author of numerous works on law and public policy, including Vox Clamantis In Deserto: An Iconoclast Looks At Four Failed Administrations (2021)

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